> Yeah, I think he had been set off by events prior, and I definitely get a clear message from him when he > just needs to be left alone to sort things out.
You know, my parents *still* haven't gotten that one figured out. Even though I've told them in words of recent. And they can't seem to grasp that this has a fair amount to do with why I avoid them like the plague (it's not the only thing, but it ranks high) either. I think it's probably just really difficult for NT folks to understand, because it's so far out of their own experiences. Even I have to admit that sound bothering me more when I am louder sounds really couterintuitive.
It's a hard thing to balance. It's a hard thing to balance for me and I have a major advantage in that I can read my own mind :P (not to mention I'm well over the age where I am a risk to other people's electronics and such -- though I'm still bad enough that if I could ever figure out how to rent my services out as a stress tester for new products I'd make a bundle ;) ) Though pretty much it comes down to that -- there's not much anyone can do externally except minimize extraneous sensory input and get the heck out of the way. Even if an NT person is really upset, no one can really calm them down, they can just manipulate the environment (including doing things like holding or talking to them) in ways that make it easier for the person to calm down. For a lot of auties the more typical things like holding or talking are counterproductive (as you've already figured out with blake, apparently, and as my parents never have figured out). What my parents did do that was useful (though I doubt they realized why, or even that it was useful at all) was teach me a whole bunch of relaxation and medication techniques. The trick for me was to learn them until they were a conditioned response whilst calm and in a receptive mood for learning, and then invoke them on the way to full scale melt down. Once it's there there's no help for it, it has to run it's course (at least, I've never found a way to stop it) but on the way there it's quite helpful. But it's not something I pulled together until I was in my teens, though I started learning relaxation techniques at four or five.
The Nat-meister had a tent he liked to go into to shut off before meltdown (sometimes, at least. But this was back when he was Blake's age, so sometimes was a pretty good accomplishment)
Actually, if you ever are really bored and want to see (starts about halfway down) me analyse the heck out of one form of meltdown (headbanging) you could go here. But it's nasty, long, carries a trigger warning and I certainly won't be offended if you don't have the time/energy.
this and this are pics of me from that trip. It was Gender Oddyssey, May 2001, Seattle, you gave a workshop on FTMs and parenting and sometime after (maybe the next day..not sure) that I chased you down and we spoke very very very breifly (probably less than a minute..years later my memories are quite fuzzy) and you were holding Blake. And should I see you again (probably not all that unlikely, if nothing else because it's a small commuity) I probably won't recognize you. I have crappy facial recognition :)
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Oh no!
Date: 2004-06-09 08:05 am (UTC)> just needs to be left alone to sort things out.
You know, my parents *still* haven't gotten that one figured out. Even though I've told them in words of recent. And they can't seem to grasp that this has a fair amount to do with why I avoid them like the plague (it's not the only thing, but it ranks high) either. I think it's probably just really difficult for NT folks to understand, because it's so far out of their own experiences. Even I have to admit that sound bothering me more when I am louder sounds really couterintuitive.
It's a hard thing to balance. It's a hard thing to balance for me and I have a major advantage in that I can read my own mind :P (not to mention I'm well over the age where I am a risk to other people's electronics and such -- though I'm still bad enough that if I could ever figure out how to rent my services out as a stress tester for new products I'd make a bundle ;) ) Though pretty much it comes down to that -- there's not much anyone can do externally except minimize extraneous sensory input and get the heck out of the way. Even if an NT person is really upset, no one can really calm them down, they can just manipulate the environment (including doing things like holding or talking to them) in ways that make it easier for the person to calm down. For a lot of auties the more typical things like holding or talking are counterproductive (as you've already figured out with blake, apparently, and as my parents never have figured out). What my parents did do that was useful (though I doubt they realized why, or even that it was useful at all) was teach me a whole bunch of relaxation and medication techniques. The trick for me was to learn them until they were a conditioned response whilst calm and in a receptive mood for learning, and then invoke them on the way to full scale melt down. Once it's there there's no help for it, it has to run it's course (at least, I've never found a way to stop it) but on the way there it's quite helpful. But it's not something I pulled together until I was in my teens, though I started learning relaxation techniques at four or five.
The Nat-meister had a tent he liked to go into to shut off before meltdown (sometimes, at least. But this was back when he was Blake's age, so sometimes was a pretty good accomplishment)
Actually, if you ever are really bored and want to see (starts about halfway down) me analyse the heck out of one form of meltdown (headbanging) you could go here. But it's nasty, long, carries a trigger warning and I certainly won't be offended if you don't have the time/energy.
this and this are pics of me from that trip. It was Gender Oddyssey, May 2001, Seattle, you gave a workshop on FTMs and parenting and sometime after (maybe the next day..not sure) that I chased you down and we spoke very very very breifly (probably less than a minute..years later my memories are quite fuzzy) and you were holding Blake. And should I see you again (probably not all that unlikely, if nothing else because it's a small commuity) I probably won't recognize you. I have crappy facial recognition :)