home again, home again

[mattblakk]

We managed to make pretty good time on the way home. Got home at almost exactly midnight. I'm a bit worn from the 14 hour drive, but up early and getting things ready. Have to send Mister Blake off to school this morning, and then get myself to class by 9:30. Have a bit of a break after that and then I'm off to work.

Had a great time at the conference Sunday night. Several friends stopped by our hotel room just to chat, and it was nice to catch up to people. When I was at the actual conference, almost no one whom I didn't already know spoke to me. There were a couple of super cute exceptions, but I think next time I need to wear a shirt that says, "Please talk to me, I am not as scary as I appear" or something.

Sometimes I wonder if people are so intimidated by who they think I am that they don't bother finding out that's actually a lot like thinking you're being intimidated by Linus.

Anyway, utter lack of star f*ers aside, it was nice to see some faces in the flesh I'd not had the priviledge to see before. Blake had a pretty good go of it, although I'm a bit worn from carrying hm back and forth everywhere on my shoulders.

It was so nice to get to be social even for just a little bit. I feel so fortified by my connections with other people. It was lovely to be able to reconnect with a couple people I'd not seen in ages.

I'm now off to the bedroom to find something that Blake can wear to school.

Comments

[havdrake.livejournal.com]

It was so nice to see you, I often wish I lived in the same city so I could hang out with you more. And Blake was as always adorable. When I needed energy yesterday I had the words over and over in my head "I want tetris, I want tetris, I want tetris..." Silly, I know, but it was cute and energized me! hehe

Didn't understand the reference to star f*ckers. Were you looking for stars at the conference?

[beyondbliss.livejournal.com]

I think he meant that people perceive him as a star (not a human being) and rather than being all over him (hoping to get some star f*cking action), they are intimidated.

Matt, that sucks. Both on not getting the star f*cking action and the fact that people's esteem for you erects barriers. I've had some small-time tastes of that and it is just not a helpful thing...I can imagine it could be a pretty serious obstacle for you.

[havdrake.livejournal.com]

Really? Wow, that would suck to have barriers like that up. Not comfortable when you just wanna be real.

Matt, you are a star? And see, I didn't even know it! What got you to star status? Not meant snydely, just curious.

[mattblakk.livejournal.com]

Thanks for getting what I meant about the weirdness. I sometimes feel like everywhere I go at those things people are running away from me.

And much later I hear about how so-and-so thinks I'm great but was too whatever (intimidated, shy, etc) to talk to me.

Makes it kind of lonely sometimes. I didn't seriously want any star fuckers, but it would have been nice to have met some more of the new faces I saw.

[swimunderground.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of you just minutes ago, probably as you were writing up this entry. I was hoping that you got home all right, and that you would post, and voila!

I was also thinking that I can't wait to view the footage I shot in your room. Maybe I'll edit a little bit together and send it to you.

It was great to hang out with you and the B. I think I might feel withdrawal about it at some point, because I'd love to be seeing a whole lot more of you two and Logan and Eliana.


many x's and o's and glitter glue too,
me.

[justin42.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to really talk to you. I'm bummed I just didn't recognize you in the elevator. I think part of that was general overwhelm of being around so many people at the conference and it being my first conference ever. I didn't feel intimidated by you, just awkward like I wanted to talk to you but didn't know what to say. Then when I saw you again you were pretty busy with Blake and I didn't want to be an asshole expecting you to socialize a ton when you were obviously occupied. (By the way, you're quite a glitter glue artist.) I hope to get another chance to talk to you and get to know you someday.

[mattblakk.livejournal.com]

Blake's birthday is coming up. Maybe we should have a pizza party and admit only those who show up bearing glitter glue and construction paper and then we could all sit around on the floor and make glittery gluey art and . . . hmm not a bad idea.

[justin42.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a fabulous idea. I'm in.

[derekja.livejournal.com]

Glad you had a safe trip back. Great to finally meet you in person!

[mattblakk.livejournal.com]

It was nice to meet you, too. So glad you were able to help with the workshop, too. I am also really glad you got to spend some time with Logan.

[fu-le-bear.livejournal.com]

Well I tried to get over that silly intimidation thing, but I wasn't wanting to talk! I wish we had more time to hang out.

[mattblakk.livejournal.com]

You were sweet, and as cute as ever. It was nice to get to spend some time with you. Hopefully someday I'll manage to be able to rent a Blake-minder for the weekend.

[colin03.livejournal.com]

Hey Matt!

It was so great to see you after so many years! Hanging with you, Blake, and friends was one of the highlights of Melissa's and my weekend. Glad to hear your drive home was uneventful. Talk to you soon!

Colin

[noahboyz.livejournal.com]

so glad you had a good weekend overall, and that it wasn't too much for Mr. B. BTW, I cam across an old GRE prep program while moving my stuff into storage. . . would you like it?

I can't wait to see you (and Mr. glitter magic) in a week.

xoxo

eve

[gretchenthespy.livejournal.com]

Matt, I would have spoken to you....blushed a lot, but still spoken to you....

It is funny, I only found out you were a star...lol....like 3 weeks ago....

[latitude11.livejournal.com]

Stacy, I followed a link from your journal to Matt's journal and I feel like I know him? I dunno.. maybe you mentioned him in LJ before but I have no idea about his stardom.

Hi Matt :)

[jamesleeland.livejournal.com]

Okay Mister Matt we have to make sure that we catch up regular like. I enjoy your company and wish that we could have a couple of those stay up all night talking, sharing ideas, flirting, etc.
I had hoped to spend more time with you and Blake, and to see you at the Gender Bent show. I really appreciated your comments in the Living as a gay transman workshop. There was a wide varity of folks there and left with a positive feeling that things are actually getting better. It is because of folks like you that gay men and transmen are finding common ground, and space for sexual expression with each other.
I am glad that your trip home was uneventful, and would love to catch up with you off line some time soon. I am sending you the piece that I performed at the show via email to give you a taste.
Smooches,
Jaime